Q – What do you do if your boyfriend cheated on you, but you still want to be with him?
A – Unfortunately, this question is common, and I am all too aware of how painful this situation can be. It is especially painful when you are still in love with the person who cheated on you, and you want to make the relationship work.
From my experience there are two different scenarios after a cheating incident occurs. Either the person who cheated is apologetic and says they will never do it again, or the person is not sorry for their actions at all.
Here’s the deal: No matter the situation, you have to be 100% committed to the choice that you make regarding how to proceed with the relationship.
Let’s play out the two different scenarios that I just mentioned.
Scenario 1: Your boyfriend is repentant and tells you he will never cheat on you again. He insists that he does not want to break up. He wants to make it work.
In this case you have to decide if you will be able to move forward with the relationship without bringing up the incident with anger or resentment. If you let the indiscretion haunt you each day, your relationship will not be able to successfully move forward.
In order to move forward and make it work, you will have to forgive him fully, and trust him when he says he will not make the same mistake again. If you do not feel you can forgive your boyfriend and trust him, then trying to stay together will be very difficult, and perhaps impossible.
Scenario 2: Your boyfriend is not sorry, was simply caught in the act, and wants to stay with you, but he has told you that he will not change his behavior.
If this is the case, then you have to realize that this is a whole different kind of relationship. You are going to have to decide if you want to be with someone who does not want to be monogamous and/or thinks that cheating is okay.
Jealousy and anger will not help the situation or change your boyfriend’s opinion on his indiscretion. If you can’t be 100% okay with him straying from the relationship in the future, then this relationship may not be one that is best for you.
In the end, what it really comes down to is communication. Communication is key to creating and maintaining a healthy relationship with mutual understanding. By communicating effectively from the beginning of your relationship, and setting ground rules and expectations, you can work to prevent these situations from happening in the first place.
I see a lot of relationships end for no real reason other than that they had trouble communicating. So, whether you stay with your boyfriend or you move on and find a new love, make sure that communication and mutual understanding is there from the start.
